Dear Epic,

I tend to think we, the gaming populace, have been fairly civil today. Sure, there've been a few incensed comments about your Wii-bashing (and subsequent coining of the term "wiggling" in relation to the Wii -- thanks for that), and your lack of a Gears of War 2 demo, but for the most part, we've taken things in stride, shoulders slack and face contorted into a picture of nonchalance. But guys, you've crossed the line this time. Through a series of decisions concerning the Unreal Engine 3's non-presence on the Wii, you unintentionally and indirectly diffused any hopes we had for a Wii version of Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. What's next, huh? You gonna kick sand in our faces? Punch a few toddlers? steal someone's Unreal Tournament 3 map (citation needed)?

Look, cynicism aside, Epic, you've done us wrong. A gore-less, non-spine-rending Mortal Kombat, replete with a smattering of freshly-inked comic book heroes seems like a perfect match for the Wii -- a console that, let's face it, skews younger than its next-gen competition. Plus, Midway (MK vs. DC's developer) is all for creating a Wii version of the game; they just need your toolset. Hope still breathes, though its grasp on life is tenuous at best. All we request is that you port the Unreal Engine 3 to the Wii. If you grant us this simple request, Midway will send MK vs. DC charging through the Wii's formerly un-breachable walls, and we will return your cat happily wrap our hands around the fruits of their labor.

Your friends,
The gaming populace.